Healing is a process, it has its own cadence and rhythm, it can not be pushed forward and will not be held back. A small but very close group of our rescued girls are now investing both time and effort into weekly gym sessions. It has been a journey to come to that place as it involved a total change in thinking, stepping outside of all that they have known, and in a way becoming uncomfortable and vulnerable for a while in order to enter into another level of healing. Not all are ready for the gym yet.
Today they talk about their gym culture, which is one of healing and empowerment, not protein powders and creatine. For them, the gym is life changing.
“Healing is not about forgetting; it’s about embracing our scars and using them as reminders of our strength and resilience.”
Dr. C. A. Courtois. “It’s Not You. It’s what happened to You.”
Samira
“Springs of Hope has given us a wonderful opportunity to go to the gym. It is so good to get out of the tent, away from the pressure of the camp and to have this time to take care of myself. It is such a huge help both physically and mentally. I would never have believed the effect that a gym could have on me.
We also consult with Nurse Salah who gives us nutritional advice, what food we should be eating, what to avoid. A whole new world has opened up for me, it’s one that I want to embrace in order to participate in my own process of healing.
When I was in captivity I did not know what a gym was. I heard about weights and gym equipment from my captors, but they used weights to hurt and injure people. I was told that they used the iron to construct bombs. I saw pictures that looked the same as the gym equipment. I heard from other Yezidis in captivity how they were beaten by iron rods and poles.
We use the same iron to heal our body and mind. Something that was so terrifying now feels normal and good. My life is changing now, the days of captivity are going further back in my mind as I enjoy the benefits of the gym and working out with my best friends.”
Samira
Naba
"I never knew that a girl could go to a gym. I thought that they were exclusively for men. It was an amazing discovery to find that I can have access to one. A whole new world has opened up to me.
My twin sister and I were taken into captivity when we were six years old. We were held captive for four years. We were taken to two main areas, Baaj and Blej in Syria where we lived in ISIS tents.
I suppose it was something like a military base as they were training kids older than us how to hold and fire guns. We were too young or else we would have been trained too.
When I was in the captivity of ISIS, I thought that would be my life until I die. I did not think that I would get out. I didn't know anything about life outside ISIS. I didn't know how people dressed, what they did with their time, I knew only the confinement and fear of captivity and trying desperately to stay alive.
My days were full of the sound of gunshots, of orders to run, we ran from place to place. We were in many bombings, always running, always escaping, guns and more guns and the sound of helicopters. I was so young, I had no idea what was happening or why it was happening.
It is only now that I am free, that I am in Kurdistan that I can slowly begin to piece together what happened to both me and to my people. For me, memory and the gym are running together. As I began to work out, memories of my time in captivity would surface, gradually recalling more details, yet by working out I am able to process the negative and focus on the positive. The chapter called "Captivity" is finally behind me. Then I say "Thank God, I am really free! I can build my life again." The gym makes me feel that I am truly living. I am grateful to Springs of Hope for helping me to build a new and healthy life.”
Naba
“Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence”
Peter A. Levine. Waking the Tiger
Jadlin
“I escaped from captivity after 3 years. ISIS took me from my home to Tel Afar, then to Badosh prison where they kept me for a while. From the prison I was moved back to Tel Afar. I was alone, totally separated from my family and placed with a cruel Tel Afarian family. I was then smuggled to Turkey and Syria. Both the prison and the family were terrifying.
It was part of the daily routine to see guns, to see them used to threaten, injure and kill. Our Yezidi community was killed daily, it was total chaos, bloodshed, noise, running, screaming. I was abused every day with extreme violence. There was no break, no time out, it was continual for three years.
And, thank God, now I am here. Safe in the old Shariya village, with Springs of Hope and going to this amazing gym. The gym is good for my mind and my body, it helps me to feel comfortable with myself. I feel as if my body and mind join together when I am working out, the fear, the sounds and flashbacks from the past go out of my body and I am given strength for the next week ahead. It is so important for those of us who were slaves in the captivity of ISIS."
Jadlin
(Note: Tel Afar is a town in Iraq home to the Turkmen a Turkic ethnic group living primarily in Turkmenistan and regions of Iraq. ISIS captured their lands in the Nineveh governorate. Some of the Turkmen from Tel Afar were known as the most cruel of ISIS captors. Those who did not align with Daesh, also paid the price with over a thousand of the regional community being thrown into what is known as the "Well of Hell" over 100 meters deep, located to the west of Mosul. They, too, are waiting for DNA testing for their loved ones. Until the summer of this year, 2024 only 200 bodies have been exhumed and identified.)
“Exercise should be regarded as a tribute to the heart.”
Gene Tunney
Saba
"I didn't go to the gym last year but this year when offered, I felt that I was ready for this new experience. I was really excited actually. Once I went I felt amazing both mentally and physically.
Those of us who go to the gym are busy learning about personal care and nutrition in order to raise awareness amongst other girls in the camp and encourage them to take responsibility for themselves and take care of themselves. It is a fantastic method of empowerment and gaining self confidence. I want every girl, especially those who were made into slaves of no value, to have the chance at empowerment, gaining knowledge, gaining confidence.
The gym is a dividing line, between inactivity and activity. Between negative thoughts and positive thoughts. Between that which is harmful and that which is beneficial. It is a change of weather, to be outside the camp and all of its pressure. For that time in the gym I do not think of my past, I think of how I am becoming whole and strong. Both my body and my heart are coming together. I feel powerful.”
Saba
Lilyan
“I love sports. I play football at the Hope Centre, it was the first way that I found to discharge all the negative energy from the confinement and terror of captivity. I love exercise but more importantly my body and my mind are healing at the same pace, now I see how they are totally connected. When one heals, so does the other. And as a group of friends we are all healing together. This is so important for us. Thank you.”
Lina
“It’s life changing. It is mental, emotional and physical healing in a very fun and active way. I think that every girl and woman who was taken into captivity should go to the gym.”
Dileen
“Going to the gym is self care. It’s fun, we are a close group of friends and love to do things together. For me, it's more than exercise, it's detoxing my brain and body from all of the trauma of ISIS. I feel different after every session, my flashbacks decrease and I sleep without nightmares. It is amazing.”
Dileen
“Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise your name.”
Psalm 142. 7
These girls, young survivors of ISIS live in a crime scene. They never get to walk away from this memorial to atrocities. They live in the crime scene, they are part of it. There is no clean up job and walking away never to return to the scene of the crime.
These girls are using the gym to reclaim their identity, to give honor to that which was abused. They use old machines in a room which has inadequate air conditioning and old equipment, they think it's the best. They are finding new life. They are embracing the pain of the years of captivity and harnessing it for personal growth and development.
They are removing all remnants of the life sentence that was laid upon them on August 3rd, 2014.
They are coming out of prison.
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